Review in Haiku

Handicap joke time

Where has Charles Grodin been?

Where’s Zach Braff going?

Oversized robots
Explosions and hot people
This is Michael Bay.

Okay.

As rabbits frolic
Miss Potter finds success, love
Life not so simple.

Okay.

Rousing opening
Drew Barrymore appears and
Then POP! goes this film.

Bad.

Secret desires
Kids, parents, pedophiles
Everyone has them.

Good.

On U.S. health care
Michael Moore rips everyone
An important film.

Good.

Take four former stars
Now overweight, old wusses
No former glory.

Awful.

FBI has mole
Recruit needs to gather proof
Is this the right guy?

Good.

Scottish boy spins globe
Finger stops on Uganda
Doctors dictator.

Good.

Go back to a world
Where they rip out hearts beating
And run with jaguars.

Good.

When quick to marry
Nothing like taking a trip
Work on cholera.

Good.

Lewdness meets sweetness
And it feels more real that way
As a man matures.

Awesome.

If I were a kid
This would be a good night’s dream
But I’m not a kid.

Bad.

George kicks it old school
1940’s cinema
Infused with swearing.

Okay.

Some humor returns
Yet convolution remains
See the first yo ho.

Okay.