Review in Haiku

Segway is the star

As it hauls fat Blart around

And defies bullets.

Meet Bill, the ugly

American Beauty that

Dumbs down the genre.

One man’s apathy

Little girl’s civic duty

I vote no, big no.

Saw Highlander 2?

It’s possible this is worse

Tarnished legacy.

Dane is awfully lame

Alba perhaps even worse

Need some two-buck Chuck.

A young filmmaker

Makes a pretentious movie

Very bad misstep.

Giant snake dragons

Leisure suit news reporters

Which ones look cooler?

Outrageous violence

Clive, Giamatti can’t save

Guns are cool and fun.